BBQ Brunch

Please bring your A game to the post wedding BBQ brunch.  This is mainly directed to those who's homes are girt by sea.  After an appauling effort at the Olympics, which I never heard the end of from expat Brits in HK, we have a lot of ground to make up.  COME ON AUSSIE COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The games will be run by Annie Oliver and she is a hard task master and will accept no cheating.  It's lucky Aussie's never cheat.  You can be also assured that she will NOT be conducting any urine tests, so your beverage intake at the wedding, and indeed at the post wedding BBQ can only be viewed as performance enhansing at this event.  Lance Armstrong couldn't make it, so at least we are guaranteed of the Americans not cheating their way to a medal.

Ones to watch:

Mick O'Donohue (Aus) - High Jump

Phil Sloss (GB) & Chris Sipidias (Aus) - Iron Man and Woman.  Chris has just come back from running around Norway 16 times with Slossy on her back, while riding a bike.

Brooke Nicholson (Aus) & Kate Babington (GB) - The giants of the netball pitch.  Big Blondes with boobs have a basket off.  Our version of beach volleyball.  Erin Raskas (Aus) in reserve with stilts.  Got the boobs, not the height.

John Raskas (Aus - well Greek, but we'll claim him, he is quick and he is family) & Briony McCarthy (Aus) - Bali Marathon.  These two love a marathon.  John because of his Greek ancestors, and Briony as there are generally fit blokes running in them.

Briony McCarthy (Aus) - Will also compete in the discus

Granny Madge (GB) - Gin and Tonic mixing

Ben Chandler (GB) & Tim Cairns (GB) - PCP.  Don't ask them what it is, just ask who the couple of emaciated blokes are walking around are, and be sure that you don't want to go near PCP for this wedding.

John Ferrier (Aus) & Justin Cava-Jones (Wales) - Wax off.  No not like the Karate Kid, for their hair.

Jessica O'Donohue (Aus), Simon Oliver (GB), Will Oliver (GB), Rob Oliver (GB) Simon Sims (GB) Billy Newsom (GB)  Ed Finch (UAE) - Ginger off.  Auburn Sunset will not be accepted as an excuse.  You are all Ginger.

Amanda Nicolle (Aus) Katy Chandler (GB) - known as White Wine Amanda and Ken.  Generally who they become after too much of said wine.  You don't want to get caught in the middle of this battle.

Fiona Cumming (Canto Scot), Audrey O'Donohue (Aus) Christina Murrell (Aus) -  Bump off.  Got my money on Fiona.

Porky (GB) & Margaret O'Heir (Aus)- Swear off.  You think you know some dirty words or ditties?  You are up against the gold medalists here.

Josh Forrow (GB), Rachel McIntosh (Aus) & Audrey O'Donohue (Aus) - 3 legged race.  Talk the leg off a hind donkey these three.  Will be providing legs for the race.

Rob Oliver (GB) Mick O'Donohue (Aus) Brian Pedretti (Aus) Dennis Jeffery (Aus) - Talking bullshit and drinking whisky while 'fishing'.  There are some serious contenders here.

Mary O'Donohue (Aus) & Annie Oliver (GB) - Granny off.  I wouldn't get in the way of this one either.

Cillian & Tracey Bourke (IRE) - A gold medal will go to anyone who can understand them. 

Clint Murrell (Aus)  - Knee reconstructions.  Not even Emma comes close to the master.

Tejus Trivedi (IND) & Jagjit Dhillon (IND)  - The Bombay brothers might be the ones to watch with the cricket bat.

Justin O'Donohue (Aus) Oli Read (GB) Richard Forrest (GB)- I look smooth in a suit and have great hair/smile - off. 

Karl McIntosh (Aus) vs Stamford Public School Boys (GB) - Karl's school is the poshest any of the Aussies attending have to compete with.  That's not saying a lot.  Wait till you meet the calibre of the man though.

Maree Oçonner (Aus) Claire Murphy (Wales, Ireland, UK we're not sure) - Neither of these two can laugh for less than 10 seconds without snorting.

Essential items to bring

1) Mozzie spray and suncream.  Jim prefers factor 2 coconut oil because he is British (although Mary was partial to baby oil in the day - lucky Mick!)

2) US$25 for the visa on arrival.  Around another US$25 if you have organised a rock star VIP transfer to your hotel/villa.

3) Power adapters for your gadgets that need charging

4) Drinking boots

5) Dancing shoes

6) Fabulous floaty things to wear poolside, or your budgie smugglers

7) Your A game for the post wedding Olympics

For the kids....

I found a great website to use for reference if you have your little cherubs in tow...

www.littlebalilove.com

Some great places to visit with the kids:

Bali Zoo
Elephant Safari Park (Ubud)

Avoid the Monkey Forest in Ubud, they are feral little things.

Don't forget kids welcome to drinks on Saturday 29th and recovery BBQ on the 2nd.  Bring swimmers and towels as both venues will have a pool for them.

GIFTS

In short, we don't want them.  We appreciate the great expense you have all had to get to Bali.  It is gift enough to us that you can all be there to join in our special day.

What we would love is if you could all grab a bottle of bubbles when you go through duty free as champagne is expensive and difficult to get in Bali.  If you could bring it along with you for the welcome drinks on Saturday night, Arie and Latiffa from the wedding planner will collect it from you, and have it nice and chilled for when you arrive at the venue on the wedding day!

We are really adament that we don't want anything due to you travelling so far, and also because we have been living in sin for a number of years now (Henry is our best example of that!).  We have everything we need, toasters etc. 

For a couple of you who have insisted, Myer, John Lewis or Lane Crawford vouchers would be lovely, but really your presence and a bottle of bubbly is all we really want.

The Stag!!!

Lads, join Jim for his last stand on Friday 28th at Made's Warung for drinks from 6pm, sit down for dinner at 7pm.  All guys welcome.

www.madeswarung.com


Made's Warung is cheap and cheerful local food and beers.  Plenty of bars in the local vicinity to çrawl' to afterwards.

Jim's Asian stag has just taken place in Pattaya, his European stag is just around the corner in Ibiza, so expect a new level in excellence of stags by the time he gets to Bali.


For more details email Jim, james.oliver@icap.com.hk

Very Important Updates....Please Read

1) Please make sure you have 6 months validity in your passport

2) DO NOT DRINK ARAK.
Arak is the local spirit, its made from god knows what and although it is cheap, it is lethal, literally.  23 people died from drinking a bad batch 2009 as it is often mixed with methanol.  An Australian tourist was also recently blinded by drinking it.  Stick to bubbles, beer and top shelf!

3) 7 weeks to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Accomodation options

There are plenty of hotels for choice, Poms take heed, Kuta will be full of Aussies.  Aussies, unless you want to be labelled a bogan, Kuta best avoided.  Therefore see most of you there.

Bali is famed for its beautiful private villa accomodation and we can recommend the following websites http://www.elitehavens.com/ and http://www.balivillas.com/ to give you an idea.  The Seminyak area is quite busy, anywhere in Canggu or the Umalas is around a 20 min drive out of Seminyak but has some great properties and is much quieter.  There are also villa options in Ulawatu and Jimbaran.

To the east of Uluwatu, Nusa Dua has a really nice stretch of beach and all the big hotel chains (Marriot, Hyatt, Westin etc) are there.  Here most of the dining options are within the hotel, unlike Seminyak.  Great for those of you with kids, if you are not staying at a private villa, as they are very kid friendly.

Seminyak also has some lovely ($$$$) hotel options for those of you who fancy a slurge, see The Oboeroi, The W, The Legian (not The Legian Beach - avoid at all costs)

The Hen (or Bachelorette for Oxy)

Ladies, dinner is booked at Hu'u for Friday the 28th.  Hu'u is a lovely garden restaurant in Seminyak, and they are putting on dinner and drinks for us.  It will be a 3 course dinner and some drinks included, they sound like dangerous cocktails to me, but I'll let the bridesmaids explain.

huubali.com

Let's hope the girls have booked the pouting guys on the opening page of the website to take their shirts off. 

Hu'u turns from dinner to a club around 10pm, so that's when the fun starts.  Jess knows the French DJ from her last visit, but will have had a word about his song selection prior to this visit.  She was most incenced that he didn't know Johnny Farnham's Ýou're the Voice'.

Keep the evening free if you fancy a night on the tiles with the girls.  All the ladies welcome, it will start at 730pm.  3 course meal including a welcome cocktail and 2 bottles of spirits/sparkling wine per 10 people is going to cost approx US$60 per head.

Please RSVP to balimondaymadness@gmail.com by 31st August if you are able to join us.

Meet the bridesmaids, Jess and Briony (more on them to follow)

Meet the Fockers Starring.....

Grannie Annie

Professor Trouto

Scary Mary

Micky Moo

Some of our favourite places to eat.....

The restaurants in Bali will knock your socks off, so as one of our Aussie Icon's would say 'do yourself a favour' and check out at least one.  Best to book as it will be busy.  Ask your hotel/villa, they will know them.

DINNER

Sarong

Beautiful Asian dishes, everything from Indo to Indian.  Asian Tapas type starters and every dish is delish. High ceiling's dripping with chandeliers and huge mirrors for all you beautiful people.  We love.

Metis

Amazing French food.  You would never think to order French Onion soup in 35 deg heat but believe me, this is worth it.  Beautiful setting in the rice paddy fields, we have sunk many a wine here.  Josh Forrow was so inspired after a meal here he drove backwards, the wrong way, down a one way street.  Or was that standing on top of the car?

Kafe Warisan

Great french nosh, set among twinkling lights in the paddy fields.  Very romantic it might just get you in the mood!  It has a lovely antique shop attached to it.  Expensive, but after a few wines at dinner ladies, your other half might be overcome with the romance of it all and feel compelled to buy you a trinket.

Mamasan
New York style eatery which has just been opened by the Sarong crowd.  It's got fairy bridesmaid Briony written all over it. We are yet to check it out, but hear its definitely worth a try.  Cocktail lounge upstairs.

BEACHCLUBS

Potato Head

Don't be fooled by the name.  You don't got there to stick fake ears and a bowler hat on a spud.  Get yourself down there early, around 11ish, and bags yourself a pool bed.  Do a Jim; strip off and oil yourself up.  Grab a burger and a cocktail (Ben C can recommend the Zombie)  and watch all the beautiful people party.  Great for an afternoon session, huge pool for the kids up one end, and pool bar for adults at the other.

KuDeTa

The old classic.  Many of the beautiful people have moved on to Potato Head but a great place for sundowners.  If you like a bit of Eurotrash this is for you.

Cocoon

Pool, tunes, poolside cabanas, nice relaxed food.  We are having drinks here on Sat before the wedding.

LUNCH

La Lucciola

Emma's favourite.  Yummy granitas, scrummy Italian food, all washed down with a bottle of Monkey Bay Rose.  Or six.  This is where it all started for Jim and Em.  Note the Rose, La Lusty Lunch.

Made's Warung

Indonesian homestyle cooking, its a Bali icon.  Get down here for a bit of kultcha.

Cafe Bali

Busy, plantation style restaurant with lots of sharing plates.  Great decor, nice for nibbles and a glass of wine.

Starfish Bloo

At the W hotel, does THE Sunday brunch.  Family friendly with a DJ playing.  The W also does an amazing high tea daily.

Biku
150 year old Javanese Joglo, an oasis in Seminyak.  Breaky, lunch and high tea, including a tarot card reading.  Audrey was told she'd meet a tall dark stranger.  He wobbled into her room that night around 2am, after one too many cocktails.

COFFEE

Grocer and Grind/Bali Deli/ Deus ex Machina
For all you Melbournites who need their morning latte fix, these are the places to get it.

ULUWATU

The Rock Bar
Jaw dropping views and an excellent place for sundowners.  Very chic. At the Ayana resort.

Nammos Beach Club
Right on the beach for yummy seafood and brick oven-fired goodies.  Karma Kandara resort.




By no means does the list stop here, but these we can recommend.

What to wear

Guys
A lounge suit or light summer suit will be perfect, tie optional

Girls
Cocktail or Bali Boho (think floaty maxi dress) and you'll be fabulous

It will be hot so make sure you are comfortable.  Ladies, heels are fine, but the villa has mainly grassy areas so maybe bring your thongs also.  For the English ladies, I'm not talking about the ones you throw at Tom Jones.  Party people, unless you plan on wearing your suit in the pool later, or more embarrassingly end up nude in the pool (she who remains nameless, at her dear friends wedding), throw in some swimmers.

Bali tips for all you Bali virgins

VISA

You need to purchase a visa on arrival which is US$25pp (you can also pay in rupiah).  The queues can be longer than the ones in Mary's kitchen when she has made a cheesecake, so you can organise a VIP service to get around this.  Your hotel or villa can organise this, so ask them for an airport transfer.  On top of the US$25, another US$30 or thereabouts will get you the VIP service.  They will organise for someone to meet you off the plane with a sign for your name, purchase the visa for you, and take you through the VIP fast track.   This can never be a bad thing, it's how we roll.  You can always just go through the normal channel, but it is advisable if you are travelling with kids to take advantage of this service.  Otherwise, you can use it just because you are fabulous.

If you are staying at a villa it is normal for the staff to ask for your passports on arrival, they need to register guests with the local authorities.
There is also an exit tax of INR 150,000 you pay on departure at the airport per person.  

WONGA

Jim on his first trip to Bali changed up enough Malaysian Ringgit to pay off the debt of a third world country.  After explaining to him that Asia wasn't a country, Bali was in Indonesia and he'd need Indonesian Rupiah, he then confused his zeros.  Its a family trait, I enjoyed a very expensive bottle of red wine courtesy of Rob for the same reason.  Rupiah to USD is around 8,000 to 1 for an easy guide.  There are plenty of ATM's, in particular a couple near the baggage claim when you get off the flight.   

TIPS AND TAXIS

Taxis are plentiful and now all have meters so make sure the driver turns it on.  Drivers are cheap for the day also, and your villa or hotel will provide them easily.   Some villas will include a driver and you just have to pay him extra if he waits around till the early hours to bring you home from whatever dodgy nightclub you have stumbled across. 

Tips to drivers etc is up to you but for a hotel porter around 5-10k is fine.  We always leave a tip for villa staff also and they split it between themselves.

HAGGLING
Have some fun haggling with the street vendors and vendors on the beach.  They are only trying to eek out a living so don't get too aggressive.  Having said that can become annoying, so take it all with good humour.  Jessica and Mary will give haggling lessons every afternoon shopping in Seminyak, if you really want to see how its done.  They'll show you how to pay double the first price you initially offered, and you'll find the vendor driving a BMW instead of a moped the next day.

WATER

Don't drink it from the tap or you might find it quickly coming out of other places!  Drink bottled water, avoid ice unless you know its been made from distilled water (the villa and hotels will do this) and be careful of salads.

MEDICAL SERVICES

We have spent more time in the Bali Clinic than we have at the beach.  After some particularly overenthusiastic shapes being thrown on the dancefloor at Double 6 Club, Emma was taken by the Bali Booze bus to the hospital, and had her lip stitched up after putting her teeth through it.  She can confirm the quality of care was fantastic.  The staff were particularly tolerant of the HK crew who, while very concerned about their mate, turned the waiting room into a mini-disco, spilling beer and danish pastries all over the floor.
There are a number of hospitals in Bali and we have used BIMC Hospital in Kuta, and also Bali Clinic in Seminyak for ear infections, a visit for Henry and god knows what else.  Doesn't look much but they are very competent.

KIDS

The Balinese are so good with children that you'll want to take them home with you.  The Balinese that is, not the kids.  Hotel or villa staff will organise babysitters for you and we have left Henry with them on more than one occasion and they have been wonderful.  We can also suggest some babysitting services (go on, you know you want to):

www.karsini-services.com

www.balikrisnaservice.com

www.bali-nanny.com

Also if your villa doesn't have enough high chairs, cots etc and hubby doesn't want to drag it all in the luggage try www.balibaby.com or www.balibabyhire.com

TRAFFIC AND RUBBISH
Both can be horrible in Bali.  Unfortunate, but just so you know.

Wedding Extravaganza Events

We have organised a few drinkie poos over various events, as you know how we both love a drink and we know you all do too, especially Grannie Madge.  Don't feel obligated to attend all, or any, apart from of course the big day!

Friday 28th September will be Stag/Hen day.  Venue's TBC and details to follow, but boys be Bintang fit and girls have your jiggy on.  Girls we will most likely be based in the Seminyak area, and boys, I don't want to know.

Saturday 29th September we will be having some welcome drinks as you'll have hopefully all arrived in the Land of the Smiles.  We have booked Cocoon Restaurant cocoon-beach.com in Seminyak for a chilled out afternoon.  We have organised some pizzas and canapes, so mosey on down around 4pm in your best safari suit or sparkly kaftan.   Cocoon is right on the beach and has a pool, so wear your swimmers under said safari suit and kaftan, and bring the kids.  We have it booked until 8pm so don't feel any rush.   Be great to see you there and you can all size each other up, and start bonding over cricket, the queen, the weather, vegemite/marmite etc etc

Monday 1st October - what a great day for a wedding!  Make your way to the Khayangan Estate in Uluwatu for a big old knees up!  Its next to the Bulgari Resort.  At this stage, (and don't get nervous we actually came back from the reccy still wanting to go ahead with the wedding) we are hoping to start the ceremony around 4.30pm.  One thing to note when planning where to stay, while Bali is beautiful, the traffic is horrendous.  For those of you staying in Seminyak you are advised to leave 1 1/2 hours travel time to the villa.  Once there we presume most of you will have your dancing shoes on so by the time you leave, if you leave, the travel time will be less than half of this on the way back.  Unless of course you walk home, forget where you live, the waiter that takes you home on his moped runs out of gas, you confuse Malaysian Ringgit with Indonesian Rupiah (Jim) and the taxi driver kicks you out, or you fall over on the dance floor and end up with multiple stitches in your lip (Emma).  Things can go wonderfully awry in Bali.

You may organise transport with your villa or hotel, but we have organised mini-buses for those who need transport to the wedding and back.   We will ask closer to the time if you need transportation on the Bali Booze Bus.
Children most welcome at the ceremony although as mentioned the Balinese are wonderful with kids if you would prefer to get your jiggy on early.  For those with babes in arms we will provide a couple of babysitters for the evening.  There will be a quiet room you can leave them in and pop back to feed.

Tuesday 2nd October we are hosting a recovery BBQ at the Khayangan estate.  If you wake up and found you've slept in the bushes, wipe yourself down, and head to the pool for a BLT and an ice cold Bintang.  All welcome but don't feel obliged, we will be there all day so pop over from 1pm.  Again bring swimming apparatus.  Mick and Rob have been banned from mankini's without a full crack, back and sack.  There will be a 'friendly' Ashes taking place on the lawn and the kids are welcome.

Thats all folks.  You'll either want out, or want to move out to Bali.

Welcome

We have just returned from a successful trip in Bali (well semi successful), and wanted to share with you all how excited we are about the big day and use this as a means to communicate our top tips for your holiday.
Your first tip is don't book the Legian Beach Hotel in Kuta instead of the Legian Hotel in Seminyak.  One is 2 star, one is 5 star; one populated by cashed up bogans drinking Bintang in the pool at 11am, one populated by cashed up HK expats drinking sav blanc in the pool by 11am.
While I personally would have felt at home in both, Jim thought he would only feel at home in the one I mistakenly didn't book.  As it transpired, guess who was drinking Bintang's in the pool at 11am (1030am actually) and enjoying talking to the 'real people'.
At least it proved that we are at home in each others culturally diverse worlds, surely a good sign for a successful marriage!!????